The worst of times, (THursday)

Paul, speaking of the ends of times explains the different characteristics people might walk by.

some of these things are that men will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, unloving, unforgiving, slanders, without self control, brutal, despisers of good, traitors, headstrong, haughty, lovers of pleasure rahter than lovers of God, having a form of godliness but denying its power. And from such people turn away.

"And from such people turn away".

To think, we have a pivotal role in our brothers and sisters lives that they would turn away from such a great God.  A lot of times in our lives were so turned off by something without even actually trying something.  God is the same thing.  He calls us to be harvesters but in the end of times which could be near we see these kinds of things in our everyday lives dont we.  Speaking to myself, i know that in my own life i am at many times these.  But through the grace that saves me i know that all is forgiven as i depend on the mercy that bore death for me on the Cross.  Knowing this FACT, it helps me want to devote my life to Christ moreso than ever.  

Needing to Run, Devotion.

Paul still being in Jail sends another letter to Timothy telling him to continue on this race as He serves the Church in Ephesus.  Timothy serves with passion and takes Pauls passion as an example as He perseveres as he gets scrutinized under the people that attack his teachings.

Timothy One;

Greetings in Grace Mercy, and Peace from God... Not himself but from the one that gives Paul strength as well as me.

Timothy's faith and Heritage

The encouragement that Paul speaks of isn't anything that he can do alone.  But it is through prayer that he reaches Timothy's heart, through the Lord as he prays night and day for his brother and fellow servant in Christ.

As well as his prayers Paul is encouraged and is said to be filled with tears as he knows the hardships that he is going through but joyful because he knows and is confident in Timothy's unfailing service to the God that saves him.

Being confident in Timothy's salvation and strength he urges Timothy to use the gifts that God has given, not through the spirit of fear but from the power and love of a sound mind

Serving cheerfully, joyfully?

God has not given us a spirit of fear, The holy spirit is the gift unto us and nowhere does it say that when the holy spirit is within you (After salvation, being a new creation) does it say to be fearful or timid.  Having this gift God desires us to use the spirit of power not fear, which power banishes fear.

The sufferings of the gospel is told through the story of our Lord Jesus.  His afflictions, his carrying of the cross, the burdens and the sins for us.  Which is the power of Christ, and the saving grace that feeds our hearts.

Paul speaks of the amazing grace that Christ had done for us, that it was God that has called us into salvation, giving a holy calling.  A calling being something that is bestowed unto us, and the calling isnt what we were to be given but what God has given to us.  A free gift, the death, and resurrection and saving grace of Jesus Christ.

To not be ashamed,

For i know whom i have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep what i have committed to Him until that day.

Having appeared to Paul with the transformation he knows who he serves.  The man that had persecuted Gods people now serves him with all his strength.  And as a committment even until death, he isnt ashamed.  He isnt cowardice, but he takes on the full armor, the power  and love of a sound mind that he talks about earlier in the passage.

Be loyal to the Faith

Timothy Two;

Be strong in Grace

Strength through the grace of Christ Jesus, which Paul understands so well within his own life, and of mine. 

through grace, teach others that will be faithful men so that the knowledge and power through Christ may be known.

The metaphor of soldiers

At least when i think of soldiers i do think of brave, courageous individuals that fight for a cause that they believe in.  In the same way Paul asks timothy (and in turn he teaches this to his students) to endure like soldiers do.  The courageous acts of those individuals as they fight a war they have won.

Paul goes on to speak about Athletes playing by the rules and hard working farmers must be first to partake (Be characterized by) of the crops.  These things ... are things that Paul asks Timothy to question the Lord and try to receive understanding.

Fully engulfed in the exercise or activity that you are doing?

God may be asking us to play within his grace, and understand that we must be a part of the harvest? that we were once in the harvest until someone, or God himself plucked us out?

Paul goes on to talk about the elect, and that the elect can also receive salvation, and that he would endure all things because the word of God is not chained or bound by anything. But is free to give and free to receive.  

But who is the elect?

all things? well in Genesis it does say that all men (and women) were created in His image, so i mean it could be taken in the way that the elect are those people that do decide to partake in his body and blood but also those that havent.  Giving them an opportunity to obtain salvation, but more specifically the elect is those that do choose, without a doubt. 

The next few verses speaks of the death and resurrection we experience, the life that we experience as he is our king, as we folow him.  

Its like if we do this he'll do this back to us, an eye for an eye haha.

Approved and Disapproved Workers

These workers that Paul is speaking of, wants us to not be ashamed of the Gospel, 

ungodliness comes from profane and idle bablings.

If this is done, then the message that they speak, which in a couple verses back talks about words to no profit that ruins the ears hearers.

But even with this "cancer" spreading because of profane and idle babling Paul says that the word of God stands, and like in the gospel the Lord knows who is his, like the shepard that would go search if even one of his sheep went missing and the joyful actions done if he is found. 

Let everyone who names the name of Christ depart from iniquity

Definition of iniquity; immoral or grossly unfair behavior

Paul asks us to let go of the iniquity that we face.  Man, its so hard though.  I must say that even as a follower of Christ the world is so enticing.  I struggle with my sins every day, and its always the same thing.  A little lust here, a little coveting there, anger, bitterness stuff like that just rule me and it helps a cancer spread through my veins.  Paul speaking about those people not being allowed to talk is ... questionable for me.  Where are my qualification to be this, a leader.  Nowhere but through the grace of God, that justifies me and gives me salvation and a light and a second, third, fourth, FIFTH A BAJILLION chances.  But its not so that grace may abound so that sin may come more but that grace may abound so that sin may be no more.

Vessels of gold and silver, but also of wood and clay

these vessels are used for his glory, i think paul is saying that although these pieces in Gods puzzle may be different there all used for something whether it being for honor or dishonor.

Yeah, so it says therefore if anyone cleanses himself (through the blood of the lamb, asking for forgiveness) from the latter, he willbe a vessel for honor, sanctified (Set apart or declared holy) and usedful for the master, prepared for every good work.

Flee (RUN!!!) also youthful lusts; but pursue righteousness, faith, love, peace with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.

run away from these things with others, fighting together.  Even as soldiers are in platoons.  Asking us to fight this fight together, as brothers and sisters.  As Paul is being encouraged by Timothy and vice versa he asks us to do the same. 

But avoid foolish and ignorant disputes, knowing they generate strife

there are arguments that you can avoid.  Strife being, sin.  The hatred or bitterness towards another brother :/ oh man.

it also affects the churhc.

and a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient, in humility correcting those who are in opposition (To Christ)

and in this God wants to grant them repentence so that they may know the truth, at time using us as gateways, so that we may act according to the knowledge of the grace that saves us.

and they may come to their senses and escape the snare of the devil, having been taken captive by him to do his will.

these are the things taht are hoped.  I was once snared, my senses captured and unable to see out of dark covered Eyes.  but that good day, oh that good day. knowing his grace, feeling his love and embrace.  His will is on the tip of my tongue, the edge of my heart, i need to fight.  I need to run.

Treatment and Honoring.

1st Timothy Five

Timothy begins to tell more of the conduct that is expected in the church, for the hopes that the people in the Church of Ephesus would follow these rules? commands? to bring glory to God and edify one another so that Christ in them could be glorified.

Dont rebuke an older man, but Exhort (Strongly Encourage or Urge to do something) him as a father, younger men as brothers, Older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, with all purity.

The Definition of "Honor"ing

The Dictionary tells us ... that the Ten Commandments instruct us to "Honor thy father and mother."  But what does honor entail?  While all of these nouns describe the respect or esteem that one shows to another, honor implies acknowledgement of a person's right to such respect (Honor ones ancestors; honor the dead).

Timothy writes and says to Honor True widows

A true widow is one that is left alone and trusts in God and continues in supplications and prayers night and day.

This kind of thing, the widow could be applied to those that are not married and have a spouse as I do not.  As i read this passage i think of the promise of one flesh that God has for his people.  That "one flesh" brings a man and woman together but at one point in time one is left and the other has gone to live with God in heaven.  Afterwards, being sinful in nature we are left alone and every time, not a lot of times we succumb to our sins and eat and drink the longings of our hearts.  When we are alone, we cant just sit there and be alone we need to go up to someone and tlak to them, be with them or just have someone in their presence.  But Timothy asks true widows as well as us to trust in God, and when i think of trust it hink of that game when i played as a young kid.  Falling back and "trusting" that someone would catch me.  If i was to play with someone i didnt trust i would never fall back but in this game with Christ, hes already caught me and given me in a metaphoric sense a place to lie on with green green grass and flowers and etc.  Trusting, trusting which is in supplications and prayers night and day.

Those who live in pleasure are dead while they live.

Timothy like Paul tells us to be blameless so that we can burn with the fire from the spirit.

But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

WHAT!

Caring is loving.  Loving is serving.  Serving is dying.  Simple concepts but a lot of times i just want to stop at caring, sometimes a little before that.  At this point in my life, in this season God expects of me, he expects of me to provide.  Whether it is through leading them in the spirit to worship his name or teaching, praying, encouraging it is all provisions for His people.  The household at this point is yes, my home, but also my chruch.  Vision, Cornerstone, and other churchs and people that i have met in the past.  As i read this, and think about the verses from before i think of the trust thing.  If you dont trust in something you are very unlikely to share about it, regardless of how knowledgable you are.  If we dont share, you aren't believing because what we have faith in is that eternal life.  Households, arent just churchs, and believers but this grace extends to all people because everyone is essentially created in Gods image. 

Once again timothy speaks of the qualifications of being a true widow;

dont let a widow under 60 be taken into the number  and the wife of one man.

Well reported for good works

Brought up children

lodged strangers

washed saints feet,

relieved the afflicted

diligently followed every good work

Transitions intowhat widows should not be.

Honoring elders

Those who are sinning rebuke in the presence of all, 

Do not lay hands on anyone hastily, not share in other peoples sins; keep yourself pure

Those that take the faith seriously need to stand tall in the face of sin.  The question becomes when you do sin.  But then as a follower of Christ we can think of grace, the undeserving grace of the blood of the lamb.  We should not dwell because we are sin, but through our weaknesses Christ is to be our strength evermore.  

1st Timothy Six

Timothy continues on the conduct of the church people.  Honoring God means honoring his people and also those he puts into authority.

Honoring Masters,

those that have a master, honor their masters as they are under there yoke (Connected).   Honor the master so that when others see you you do not make a mockery out of God.

As a servant of the master, Serve them not despising them because of the conditions but serve because you are a believer and Christ came to serve not be served.

Error and Greed

Wholesome (Conducive to or promoting moral well being) words should be used when teaching so the way you live your life should be lived accordingly to the scripture.

Money is a root of all kinds of evil, for which some have strayed from the faith in their greedinees, and pierced themsevles through with many sorrows.

The good confession

Speaks to the men of God, the followers of Christ.

Dont follow them but pursue the things that please God which are... righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, and gentleness.  

These are some fruits of the spirit.

As a follower of Christ these should be your nature.  Living and bearing fruits is a life that is lived to be glorified to Christ.

Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, to which you were also called and have confseed the good confession in the presence of many witnesses

on that glorious day, when i gave my life to Christ it was pretty awesome.  When i confessed i guess that i needed Christ more than i needed myself was eyeopening, jawdropping, and it made my heart feel soooo good.  That eternal life with Christ and his people is what im longing for, my home is not here. ITs with Christ. and tahts what im waiting for.  But while im here i cant complain but i need to work my butt off so the kingdom may come and that in the end God might not say to me, i never knew you but that he woudl say welcome my good and faithful servant.

Sundays

1^st Timothy Three

            Defintion of a Bishop;

 

            Qualifications of an Overseer.

In this chapter it timothy speaks to men about the qualifications of a “position”.

Being this Bishop

It is good to want this position, but you must be blameless, husband of one wife, termperate, sober minded, of good behavior, hospitable, able to teach, not given to wine, not violent, not greedy for money, but gently, not quarrelsome, not covetous.

                        Having these qualities are necessary

                        To serve these are necessary.

Timothy explains how if you don’t have the control of your own household how you can be expected to tend the sheep of Gods church.

                        A lot of these qualifications may seem legalistic to some, but for those that represent the church of God must go about their lives in a way that is glorifying to him.  That brings him glory, not being drunk with wine, being temperate and sober minded.  These things will allow the follower of Christ to be blameless.

 

 

1^st Timothy Four

            Definition of Apostasy;

I don’t really know the definition of apostasy, but judging from the first few verses it seems like its talking about those that proclaim the name of Jesus but don’t express it in the ways that God has intended it to be.

           

Verse four and Five; For every creature of God is good, and nothing is to be refused if it is received with thanksgiving; for it is sanctified by the word of God and prayer.

Earlier it talks about forbidding to marry, restrcitions from someone, and the commanding to abstain from foods.  So someone or some organization will restrict the people of God to not eat or not have the blessings that the Lord has given, but what Timothy says is that everything in this world, even the bad things in life “ “ are supposed to be for the good of his people.  Wine for instance, was meant not to be drunk but to drink.  I think because wine long ago was much cleaner then water and had to be the beverage of choice because there was nothing cleaner.  But now, that has all changed.  And it is about the motive that you go in every situation.

            Exercising yourself towards godliness

The profit you receive from physical exercise is a little but from godliness you receive the promise of life, from now and forever. 

Timothy speaks of the acceptance to that challenge, godliness…

For to this end we both labor and suffer reproach because we trust in the living God, who is the Savior of all men, especially of those who believe.

Afterwards it is said to teach these commands, because its worth it.

 

            Let no one despise your youth,

                        He says that because Timothy was sent to the church in Ephesus,

                        But even as a young boy he strived to be an example to believers in

word, conduct, love, spirit, faith, and in purity.

 

As an older member in your church you should pray and prophecy for those that serve, younger, or anything. 

                        Reference to Chapter 2; praying for all men.

A living for the Rule.

Set your hearts on things above, 

for you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God.

put to death; sexul immorality, impurity, lust ... 

you use to walk in these ways in the life you once lived. 

YOU MUST RID YOURSELVES of all such things.

take off your old self.

clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.

forgive as the Lord forgave you.

be thankful.

wheter in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus.

In the Last chapter of collosions all these things really struck me?  I dont really know why i wrote it like this this time.  Maybe because these are the things i felt God was speaking to me about.  Is this the life that i live, have i died? am i living?  Needing to put on the clothing of the characteristics of the Lord is a good thing, we need to always cltohe ourselves with things that are better than us so that we can improve.  

and in all things be thankful. 

The Remains, of Something

Looking into Romans; 11

God did not reject his people, whom he foreknew.  Dont you know what the Scripture says in the passage about Elijah - how he appealed to God against Israel: "Lord, they have killed your prophets and torn down your altars; I  am the only one left, and they are trying to kill me"? And what was Gods answer to him?  "I have reserved for myself seven thousand who have not bowed the knee to Baal."  So too, at the present time there is a remnant chosen by grace.  And if by grace, then it is no longer by works; if it wer, grace would no longer be grace.

The remnants that God saw, or reserved is something that amazes me.  At this time, Baal being an idol or another God was worshipped amongst the Israelites.  But God saw them.  Even throughout the sacrifices that were being sacrificed among the believers of the Lord God, God saw them.  As Paul says in the scripture about Gods answer being, i have reserved for myself seven thousand who have not bowed the knee to Baal gives me encouragement to keep on fighting.  Steadfast, this is what i want, to remain in the grace of God.  I often times forget so quickly the grace of God, learning about grace first was sort of a double edged sword for me.  I LOVED the fact that God loved me, sort of selfish in a way.  But my heart had untangled more and more my heart became a fortress of darkness.  Grace was something i took for granted, and feared that when I went to live on with the Lord for eternity he would say to me before I entered, I never knew you is a fear of mine.  But i'm pretty sure those are the devils words.

=)Sacrifice is what i need in my life, if not my life is worth nothing because this life is nothing except a fragrance to the Lord.

God, i need you.

Because of This

Romans Chapter One; Verses 24-26

Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another.  They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator - who is forever praise.  Amen.  Because of this,  God gave them over to shameful lusts.  EVen their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones.

Becuase of this, sinful desires, sexual impurities ... these things that perverse and invade our minds take us away from the very truth that God has given us, Himself.  Everyday, and i mean EVERYDAY i sin, and on my heart its tough.  Thinking that ive exchanged the best for the worst not saying that when the time comes it will be right but thinking of it now, God needs to be my first priority.  When i look at this chapter and the heading for these particular verses it says Gods wrath against mankind.  When i read that and think of wrath at the smae time i imagine like an unbelievable pain, maybe a pain that involves bloodshed and millions of people.  But in a way the wrath that Paul talks about in this chapter is the wrath that God gave them over to their sinful desires.  We have control, and we have screwed it up.  We have fallen into a trap and we cant get out.  I know that in my life ive fallen into so many traps, even now ive fallen into a trap, maybe one that i cant get out of bceause of my own pride, selfishness but in some way i know that as i grow closer to the heart of the Lord, i know that i wont live to please myself or put mysefl up but to raise him up through the relationships we have etc.

Application; let go of my own pride, who needs it. WOrk it.

Sigh,

Give to Caesar whats Caesars, and God what is Gods.

The title of what im writing about is part of another section in Mark Chapter twelve but it is the same concept.  Its about the parable of the tenants and it comes from verse 1-7 and its about our sinful nature.

the scripture says,  A man planted a vineyard.  He put a wall around it, dug a pit for the winpress and built a watchtower.  Then he rented the vineyard to some farmers and went away on a journey.  At harvest time he sent a servant to the tenants to collect from them some of the fruit of the vineyard.  But they seized him, beat him and sent him away empty handed.  The he sent another servant to them; they struck this man on the head and treated him shamefully.  He sent still another, and that one they killed.  He sent many others; some of them they beat, others they killed.  He had one left to send, a son, whom he loved.  He sent him last of all, saying, They will respect my son.  "But the tenants said to one another, 'this is the heir. Come, let's kill him, and the inheritance will be ours.'

Thats where this devotion starts.  Where it says come, lets kill him, and the inheritance will be ours.  The farmers attitude isnt far from mine i guess.  Somewhere along the way or maybe the whole way ive lost sight of who owns what.  My sinful nature covers my eyes to make me believe that i have the authority of my life, whether i die today or tomorrow is seen to me as my choice.  But Gods ultimate plan for me does not include, involve, my own thought process.  The farmers killed or beat every single servant that was sent to them to collect the harvest or an offering of the mans mercy to even build a vineyard, which to me is the earth.  A place where it is plentiful enough to receive from, we have forgotten the creator in many times and forget to offer him everything, all that we have.  This attitude for myself is what i need to rid myself of.  This selfishness that is self seeking for my own glory and pride.  THe reason why the farmers have killed the servants was to receive the inheritance or the glory of it all.  When it comes down to that it is not a love that looks towards the Lord.  I need to start being a farmer that is kingdom centered, not Paul Choi centered.  God centered, not to feed my heart centered.

Application, to make it my prayer that i would have a kingdom perspective in my life.  For this motto to be alive for me "The Truth will make me move".

The wrong things in the wrong places.

Devotional; from Mark 11; 15-17

On Reaching Jerusalem, Jesus entered the temple area and began driving out those who were buying and selling there.  He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves, and would not allow anyone to carry merchandise through the temple courts.  And as he taught them, he said "Is it not written: "My house will be called a house of prayer for all nations' but you have made it a den of robbers.

there were a lot of things in Chapter that was directed towards my own life at this particular time.  My struggles, humility is a big thing.  The colt that Jesus rode on is the thing that shows me the humility i must have in entering anything.  I could say that in my own life i am a big shining ball of light, but what is that purpose for.  What is my purpose before the story of Jesus entering the temple he tells this barren Tree that produces no fruit that no fruit shall be eaten from you, giving it no purpose.  This fruit tree later on whithers away later on in the chapter.  Looking at my own life im kind of at a difficult position.  What to do, what to do.  My whole heart right now is not in serving and next year i do not plan to serve in the conventional ways, i.e. leading praise.  But its difficult, the position i'm in because if i dont serve then my purpose here is worthless.  If i do not build up the kingdom of God i could be that withering tree, no purpose no life.  Being saved by the grace of God and not living according to it could definitely bring me trouble.  

As i looked at the verses from Mark, i see myself as one of those robbers in the den.  Jesus calls those that sold dovers and money changers a robber.  I dont exactly sell doves, but metaphorically speaking my heart does sell things which i get paid in return by the things that i need in worldly standards.  My sinful heart gets fed by compliments, the love i am showed, the friends i make but in my life that cant be it.  My life regardless of these people i meet needs to be for the glory and progress of the Kingdom.  Im not needed, for sure, who am i to say anything like that.  But as someone that gets paid by the love of the father and an eternal life that gives me all that i need i need to act more like someone thats greatful and gets paid for those things.  I need to stop selling "doves" and start selling the love of Christ.

Application; start giving, not receiving.

Rules? WHAT RULES!

From what i read, its from Mark 10; Verse 2-5

the word  says, Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?"  They said, "Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away."  It was because your hearts were hart that Moses wrote you this law," Jesus replied. 

hmm Laws, i broke the law a couple weeks ago by parking in a handicap space.  I break them everyday whether they are the laws of this world (Still authorized and used for the power of God to reach lives) and the laws of God which was shown to us by people like Moses, Jesus and other influentials in the bible.  I cant help to think though, why were these laws made doesnt it just mkae life a little bit harder.  For me, wont it make me think even more legalistically then i already do.  its NOT BY WORKS paul is what i tell myself, its not about what you have done but its what Christ has done.    These days, im realizing my heart, i shuold be transparent right i think other people see the weaknesses within me... i think.  Bitterness, anger, pride, selfishness, hatred, negativity, lust, and so many other things.  Even as im writing this its hard, as i sing praises to Him it gets more and more difficult.  We struggle, but i count. i count over and over my own wrongs against the creator.  WHY IS IT SO DIFFICULT FOR ME to even struggle, when Paul talks about fighting the good fight shouldn't i be fighting and struggling, although my situation is totally different from His.  Im dying, dying in this world that ive created inside the world thats perfect, the one i was reborn in.  I feel like a broken pen, the ink spills and im messing up this picture.  Isnt that a terrible feeling, the grace of God be here.  Im hurting, struggling, and i dont really know why.  Is it the sin, the discouragement in my life that i cant really feel??? am i even struggling, or is this a cry for help, for attention.  For this need to fill my heart. 

Laws, laws, laws, i hate them at least.  It puts restrictions on us, restrictions that we feel like we dont need.  But there put on us because we as sinful people do not know the difference between right and wrong.  Our world as we know it is crumbling, like sodom and gomorah were falling into wretchedness as we speak.  Destruction? is it amongst us, i feel like it is.  The lines have been blurred, lines that we are crossing.  We need laws because our hearts are hard Jesus says, to what extent are they hard, what are the reasons.  Hardness comes from apathy, and i feel like i have that.  Laws are needed, i need to abide by them.  I am a hell deserving sinner but i am pardoned by the blood of Christ which makes me thankful... right.  SEE! thats where my contradictions in my life comes.  How much hypocricy can i live in before i can truly die to myself.  Why do i try to live by these standards and could never come out. NEVER! its so hard this Christian life.  Sometimes i want to give up, but then i dont because i know that He is with me, there are those that are praying for me, trying to encourage me, I need more of Jesus. 

application, get out of this negative outlook on life, live more positively.  Know that whatever i do He still loves me, and Go. 

Tasting death?

The verse comes from Mark Chapter 9; Verse 1

And he said to them, "I tell you the truth, some who are standing here will not taste death before they see the kingdom of God come with power."

I read this and ask myself many questions.  I'm the type of person that counts everything that he has done in his life, its terrible i know.  I can't help it though it seems to have stuck with me because i dont see myself in the light, let alone in Gods light.  This passage talks about Death, and when a lot of us think about death or at least for myself i think of funerals, people in coffins or the ground.  But as i read this i dont think that is what Jesus talks about.  Death in this context i feel like is the life of sin that once ruled our lives.  The reason i wrote about counting everything that i do is because i see the sin in my life, i repent but true repentence bears fruit of change.  There are certain things in my life that is so difficult for me to let go of, my pride for instance and my selfeshness and my lustful heart are things that before i was born again i had and now i still have.  I look and ask myself whats changed in my life?  Have i died?? have i really, i doubt.  I might just be feeling this way because i am kind of sad right now but its a question i need to ask myself everyday, have i died.  I need a heart that is focused on the Lord, who am i to say that i am anything.

Application; i need to die... everyday to myself.  My application for my life is that i need to pray everymorning asking for strength through persevering through the holy spirit to show me the path that i need to take. Prayer in the morning.  

SEEK and FIND?

THIS VERSE comes from Mark 8;

Verse 11-12

The pharisees came and began to question Jesus.  TO test him, they asked him for a sign from heaven.  He sighed deeply and said, "why does this generation ask for a miraculous sign?  I tell you the truth, no sign will be given to it.

You know i think a lot about the progression of things in this, its so random but its so blessing.  As mark just tells the adventures of him and the other disciples with Jesus its so amazing.  In a lot of ways i see there small beginnings (often times of positions that were tough to be faithful in, like tax collecting) Jesus made them great.  From these verses i feel like this is a lot of what we act upon.  We expect Jesus or even our friends to give us signs so that WE may act.  And a lot of us expect us to get to a certain point to serve but we need to serve in the midst of our lives.  We need to act, because if we stay in the word, which i try to, and really trust in God then the there would be need for signs because we would know the heart of God.

I am still trying to learn about hte heart of God but i know that as i feed and eat the word hes teaching about his hearts longing.

Application; seek and find Him, know and act because of the knowledge He gives me. 

Feeding, and the overflow of the HEART!

Monday Evening; The FEEDING!

"You give them something to eat." Jesus says.

It was after a long days of work, The apostles and Jesus went to a remote place to get some rest but because they were so influential and recognizable the people that saw them made it to the destination before they did.  Jesus finding them before they had landed had compassion on them and began teaching.  Towards the end of the day the disciples came to him and asked if they could send them away but with the command of YOU give them something to eat is something that gives many of us in the future insight on what to do.

A lot of us a lot of the time put our responsibilities, our burdens on others because at least for me I get lazy, bitter, angry at things i shouldnt be.  When Jesus and the disciples had landed they had already done the work they needed to have done for that day but they continued with Jesus leadership and love for the people He came to save.  Having compassion he gave himself as a sacrifice even in this time of teaching.  I need to lay myself down more and more each day.  He then commands the disciples to give them something to eat, with the people coming to listen Jesus tells them to give something to eat.  But i feel  like this command of the disciples giving them something to eat is something physical but also spiritual.  Spiritual food is more of a necessity then food that fills our stomachs.  The food of the heart is more precious then anything else.  I feel like my heart needs to be fed every single minute of every day and it is TRUE.  But seeing the things that goes into my heart is the problem.  My heart is fragile, dark, deep and it needs to be filled with the things that God loves, with the heart of his people.

Application, trust in the WORD more.  It is my food for the heart, because i cannot live on "bread" alone =), pasta. HAHA.  So although i try to do my devotions with the Lord every night im needing a spiritual awakening, a repentant heart with a desire for the word and to live by it and in that way "know" it. 

Tuesday Evening; the OVERflow of my heart.

The pharisees call the people that dont wash their hands unclean as they lived by there traditions, ... ill leave it at that, think about it. 

Verse 20 to 23

He went on: "what comes out of a man is what makes him 'unclean.'  For from within, out of men's hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly.  All these evils come from inside and make a man 'unclean'

When i think of unclean i think of pigs in the mud, sweaty people like myself for WHATEVER reason.   For these instances its a nice hot shower or a walk in the rain (my romanticized life HAHA) to become clean, because we see water as something pure, and clean to rid ourselves of the things we eat and become.  The pharisees were the ones that brought the unclean stuff about, trying to find fault within the disciples and Jesus himself.   The traditions he said, the traditions are the ones that there living up to, the standards of their forefathers and not the father himself he says.  Dont we do that too? we have rules set, WHY? are there reasons, are they valid reasons, and in no way shape or form am i saying that rules are bad =), they are excellent but when we use them and put them inplace of our Lord and make it our idol to make it to that standard every single time is when we become faulty??? (Wrong usage of word).  But the things we intake, i am reminded of the saying "You are what you eat".  In this world i feel like all of us eat something, and im not talking about food.  The things we eat are part of those worldly things, we as christians, i myself as a christian am so enticed by the thigns of this world especially the second one (im trying) which is sexual immorality.  These things i intake are the reflections or overflow of my heart.  And in order for me to glorify the Lord i know that the things that come from my heart need to be clean, my thoughts my life must be for His glory.  

The inside is what counts, because God looks at the heart, Jeremiah chapter 17. 

Application, watch waht i eat, i need to be on a spiritual diet. 

The One that isnt seen,

Two Blind men Receive Sight
Matthew 20; 29-34
As Jesus and his disciples were leaving Jericho, a large crowd followed him. Two blind men were sitting by the roadside, and when they heard that Jesus was going by, they shouted, "Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us!" The crowd rebuked them and told them to be quiet, but they shouted all the louder, "Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us!" Jesus stopped and called them. "What do you want me to do for you?" he asked. "Lord," they asnwered, "we want our sight." Jesus had compassion on them and touched their eyes. Immediately they received their sight and followed Him.



The blind men that wants sight, the "followers" of Jesus not wanting to give there Lord to these "blind men" or the outcasts of the city. I mean they werent exactly the ones that were the most prosperous in the town. While reading this whole chapter i feel like its trying to convey a place for the lost to come. These outcasts that called on the Lord to ask for their sight back was in the right place to ask the Lord. I mean theres other occassions by faith alone people were healed, brought back to life, demons cast but these followers of Christ didnt seem to have the same compassion as He did. He healed them, no questions asked, He did it. I feel like im like that a lot in my life, i overlook a lot of the times the lost and i go RIGHT to the healthy. Its funny because i know im sick but when i become prideful while im living in sin i feel like im on top of the world in a worldly sense. I need to humble myself while i pray, i need the attitude of Paul the Apostle as he runs his life towards the calling of Christ, knowing full well that he himself is the worst sinner of all he was used by the Lord in a tremendous way. I need that attitude. I need to look at every person and know that he or she needs help, not just look at those that alreayd have help because God came for the sick, and yes i am sick.


Application; reach out to those that do not know Christ, be a better light so that people would have that opportunity to be healed by the loving power of Christ.

The Rich and the Poor, and then the Wives.

So first i just want to share a verse about the seriousness of what i have currently been praying about for my future. About my wife, my spouse, the one i am to be one flesh.

Matthew 19; Verse 5-6
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh' So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.


I must admit i let my heart and feelings interfere with my life with Christ and i know one important thing in my life will be my wife, haha. Currently i have never had a girlfriend but am excited for what God has in store, i mean i need to trust that im going to get married right. Theres a verse later on in this chapter that talks about and others have renounced marriage because of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accepth this should accept it. =), personally i dont think i can accept this, but maybe i will who knows if God presses it upon my heart to just be united with Him all the timmeeee and not with a spouse. BUt my heart does get divided a lot and i know that with women (one of the biggest problem areas in my life, concerning sin) it is something i need to view as sisterly relationship first. One flesh ey, =) im excited for waht God has in store for me, who it is, what shes like. IM trusting in Him, ive been praying for her too, that we would faithfully walk whatever God has called us to. And that she is growing spiritually and growing in her spiritual walk as well so that we can run towards Christ together.



Matthew 21; Jesus awnsered, "if you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.


It talks about later in the chapter that its easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God. First i want to say one of the main reasons why i am even contemplating switching my major is for that reason alone. I felt that God gave me the desire to live a froogle??? life. But my divided heart is saying NONONO, i want to be wealthy and be able to provide for my family and my parents and sister. But in reflecting on these types of verses on waht we must give up for the kingdom of God its nice to know that God doesnt look at our monentary value. He truly does look at our hearts, and with these treasures on earth its difficult to see waht God has to offer. A lot like many other things in our life, were so distracted by the things of this world which one of them is certainly money, we need to relinquish the trust that we have in money, our friends, our family and look solely at the Cross. Of THAT PRICE that was paid, of THAT TREASURE that we have been given and take up the calling that God wants for us which is to be followers of His glory and love.

Trust with the Sovereign Lord,

My walk with the Lord is good, He is faithful because thats just what He is no questions asked. I feel like with this journey im taking to once again try to eat up His word He is teaching me a lot that i can and will apply to my life with the desire to glorify His name.


BUT!


although i have been showing you mostly about Matthews i am going to write about Genesis this time, i have been reading the old and new testement simultaneously. So although Matthews is great so is Genesis.

I will share a verse from Matthews that really hits me hard especially as one that leads the people of our Church into worship/the presence of the Lord. it comes from

Matthew Eighteen; 7
Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to sin! Such things must come, but woe to the man through whom they come!



Genesis Eighteen; 13-15
Then the Lord said to Abraham, "Why did Sarah laugh and say, 'WIll i really have a child now that I am old?' Is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return to you at the appointed time next year and Sarah will have a son." Sarah was afraid, so she lied and said, "I did not laugh." But he said, "Yes, you did laugh."

During this time Abram's name was changed to Abraham because God had made a covenant with him that he will be the father of many nations and promising Abraham and his wife Sarah a son this passage revisits that account. It speaks of the promise that God tells to Sarah that she will have a son even when she was in her 90's. Not trusting in God she laughed, and as I imagined it while i was reading i feel like God had one of the two feelings, it was laughter with a hint of sarcasm or He was just mad. I feel like either way is good for God because i mean HES GOD! haha. But i'd like to think of it as sarcasm because she tries to lie to God but he says, Yes, you did laugh. In my life i think i act just like Sarah, and not like Abraham. I mean he trusts in the Lord with whatever, even later on in Genesis he is asked to give up his son that he and Sarah had together, this promised child to see his obedience to the Lord. But unlike him, Sarah was different and i feel like she is what i am. A lot of times i laugh saying God your not able, i trust but i dont think it will happen. And i tell myself look at my heart or the hearts of others; WE WONT LISTEN and those types of thoughts come. But in praying for this church and for fire to come down i feel like i need to trust in the Lord with all that i have and all i know. Trust that he will bring the lampstand to Purdue if we are faithful in prayer. We need to expect the Lord to do the impossible, which is to change hearts. Change hearts to admire and desire the heart of the Lord.


Application; to pray for Cornerstone. If i as a leader am not faithful in praying for this church and its people then theres no point for me to being a leader. I dont fit its qualifications and im only serving to fill my heart to serve and im not really serving other people only myself.

To be SURE!

Matthew Seventeen; Verese 11-12



Jesus replied, "to be sure, Elijah comes and will restore all things. But i tell you, Elijah has already come, and they did not recognize him, but have done to him everything they wished. In the same way the son of Man is going to suffer at their hands.


THIS IS SUNDAYS by the way, just to clarify.


In a lot of ways this really speaks to me, as do most of scripture. Recognition is a big thing, even to me (being the sinful person that I am). But this time its towards Jesus, this pasts retreat spoke of treasures, and when you think of the treasures in life I know personally i can recognize them in an instant maybe even faster. The truth be told the word, scripture in many cases is not this treasure. I go through these dry spells and the word becomes dull knowing full well that there are things even in the dullness that the Lord tries to speak to me directly. But recognizing Jesus, as i just reflected on it i am convicted as i was this past winter to get to know the scriptures better. To be DEEPLY ROOTED, which is like a life quote for me. Its scary to think that when Jesus comes, i mean honestly he could come at any moment ... even in our lifetime, i mean its possible and the thought of not being able to distinguish Jesus when He's here is disheartening for me. My life with the Lord i can say hands down is the most important thing in my life, aside from the little tangents i have on a daily basis He brings me back and restores me. And like a baby recognizes His or Her mother its sad to think that i mgiht not be able to recognize the one that loves,feeds, cares, holds, comforts, and forgives. Its that type of love that im truly scared of, although i consider myself this guy that loves to love and is wanting to love its difficult to expect love in the form of a saviour.


Application; Know the word more, like i said DEEPLY ROOTED. Its not just words to me ive even wanted to write it in ink on my body but in the form of a picture. To my heart i want the scripture to be, and i want to live out the things that i learn not just store them in a closet.

What is?

Matthew Fifteen,



Vere Two to Four
"Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders? They dont wash their hands before they eat!" Jesus replied, "And why do you break the command of God for the sake of your tradition? For God said, 'Honor your father and mother' and "anyone who curses his father or mother must be put to death.'

The first thing that hit me was the word tradition, or religious acts is something that we might say. In this context they spoke of food, but in my mind im talking about the things we do. Our minds are this way but our hearts are another. In this text I feel like my heart is divided, although this passage speaks about honoring your father and mother I am also going to speak about God, THE FATHER!. In my personal life I have all these "duties" or certain things that i must do to gain the love of God, or His affection. But knowing that all is not like that and that His love is free for all is something that till this day gets to me. I still have this legalistic attitude which somewhat leads my life but as God is teaching me more and even in verse Eight; These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. They worship me in vain; their teachings are but rules taught by men. God looks at the heart, not actions and deeds there not enough quiet times or worship services that could be led or done by me to gain His love. I need to fully trust in His love that it saves me every single day. I feel like everyday needs to be a fight, unclean or clean or should I say clean. I need to stop trying to "wash my hands before i eat" because what good will that do if they just get dirty again. But i need to wash or clean what i dirty my hands with because i know there are a lot of things that i dirty my hands with that are not glorifying or building up the kingdom of God in my life. I need to wash myself or rid myself of those things.


My application,

Dirty or not dirty i need to rid myself of those types of things in my life that make me need to clean. I know that in my life i have certain things like my pride, my selfishness, my guilt, my acts of sexual immorality and they are things that i need to rid myself of or things i need to divide myself of so i can be one with Christ. So His thoughts would be mine.


=).

The first, in a long longgg time.

Matthews Chapter 14.



Knowing beforehand that i had'nt posted on my blog for a while was my mistake. Lazily i didnt do it, partly because i didnt want to and some because i hadn't had my time with Jesus. =) but i am trying to be faithful and trying t oread everyday so TRUST =) haha



I read from Matthew's Chapter 14.


Verse 15-16
As evening approached, the dsiciples came to him and said, "this is a remote place, and its already getting late. Send the crowds away, so they can go to the villages and buy themselves some food." Jesus replied "they do not need to go away. You give them something to eat.


I thought these couple verses were verses that i take as a calling that Jesus gives to us. Jesus goes to a solitary place but has the people of the town follow him and asks to heal their sick. But as time went on and on and on it seemed like for the disciples they wanted the crowds to go away so that Jesus and themselves might be able to get some rest. But as they told many to go home and find food and rest for themselves Jesus invites them back and tells the disciples to feed them. In a lot of ways i feel like the disciple in the story, displacing responsibility on others and trying to have them do what is needed to be done when Jesus tells each and every one of us that we are welcome in His home. Responding to this i feel like all of us as servants need to be aware of what God has in store for us, its not for us but for Him. We need to invite those in so that Jesus can feed them 5000 loaves of bread and fish. I think i need to be aware of the hands that i am in and the hands that i am to lead people into also. I am not the best, no way shape or form but many times i feel that way. I need to repent of my sins and really cahgne to become more humble so that God can use me in a more powerful way.


Verse 25-29
During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "its a ghost, they said, and cried out in fear. But Jesus immediately said to them: Take courage! it is I. Dont be afriad. Lord if its you, Peter replied, tell me t ocome to you on the water. Come, he said.



INVITATIONS! Theres a lot of things that i see that God might be trying to show me. One is in my own lack of spiritual awareness or Gods presence. Although these verses are speaking directly to the disciples that are on the boat waiting for Jesus while he is praying to His Father they wait. And after a while after Jesus does come they are afraid, not knowing who it is and testing God. I feel like this message relates to me very well, in my life i wouldnt say i know the bible at all, i understand a little bit here and a little there but not a full bibical understanding of who God is. Thats something im working on =). As i read this i had this knock on my heart about my conviction for this semester (to read the bible all the way through). I want to know God, KNOW HIM! i want to nkow him so that i would know his will and his plans so i can work accordingly to His will. I know its tough but i feel like it is something that needs to be done. I want to be confident in knowing that its Him im speaking to at night and its Him im worshipping or serving. Because He tells us to take courage! It is IIII. Dont be afriad. And after a while He asks us to come.



Application. Come, Go, Receive. Those words are things that i need to kneel down before God, i really want to become a prayer warrior. Theres so much struggle in other peoples lives, especially my own. But on behalf of those in the Church that i serve i really want to become a servant and really intercede for them, I want to pray for those in the Church to build up a stronger community IN CHRIST, not in drinking, partying, but through Christ.